ME. kynzgerl
CODES. manikka
BRUSHES. 1 2
IMAGES. 1 2
The 2 paper heart: moargh.de
SOURCE. BLOGGER BLOGSKINS IMAGESHACK

class politics?

i swear im not going to interfere or do anything this time..
unless things really got out of hand..
i'm afraid..
for i know what i'll always get in return in the end..
reject and even more loneliness..
im just an insignificant character.
for im an ordinary girl.
i can be helpless and very emotional at times..
even if in college, im appointed as a student councillor.
well, that's one of my weaknesses.
yeps.

hooray. im being accused - full stop

i just saw something that i couldnt help feeling unjust of.. i just felt so wrongly accused.. maybe i was wrong that i went in agreement with the rest who started saying. but i didnt say a word. damn, was i the one who complained about the math teacher? to begin with, i never even thought of bringing him into the dialogue session.. before the event, i even told some people while waiting outside the inner space not to mention that thing.. cause no matter wad, we still have to show the teacher some respect, especially in front of the v.p.

why? was i wrong too to say we need more math questions to prepare for alvl exams?

but when the first person began to bring up that, i guess.. everything follows. everyone began to yea yea.. i admit, but i added no comments. until some guy burst out furiously, then it suddenly occured to me.. what we had just done were not right thing.. which was why meiling and i jumped to salvage the situation. that the teacher did try his best alr, and it was our fault that we didnt show him the basic courtesy. oh damn, i knew i say something after the guy burst out, but i forgot..

honestly speaking, that guy, the way he spoke up for the teacher. i thought he was really going to hit a vein or blow his mind. and its because of that behaviour, that i realized we had gone overboard. and it was because of that that i realized he isnt the heck-care guy i know. he is someone who stays very loyal to friends, one who wun betray them no matter what he says on the outside, and ll forever stay by their side. yes, that was wad i thought of you. despite all your other flaws.. all of us have flaws, i dun deny.. but that impression perhaps was the most positive side i ever come up for you.. and perhaps that's the most real you.

to me, you were hero during that session. because of your call to justice.

but you.. never fail to hurt my feelings.. i dunno who gave you the info abt yest, but apparently.. the reason i cried was because i was given a question to present. and because i wanted to save paper, i squeezed all workings and diagrams on to a little corner.. which was why it was messy. and because i was sure the math tutor would be confused after reading that. i volunteered to present the answer. and yet, instead of supporting classmates while they were in front. wad i got was "go back la". how encouraging is that? if i wasnt given the task to do, i would be just glad to sit at my table and continue my work. i shant bother to interrupt.. now i understood how he feel when he was in front trying to teach our class. out of sudden, i felt small and helpless.. i was trying my best to explain the question, and hoping that you all will understand the way i understand. apparently it did not happen. i felt devastated not because the fact that i didnt get to present my whole answer. there are ample of chances in the future.. but of some hurting comments made..

the way you spoke, the way you act, perhaps to you, you think they are too insignificant.. or maybe to you, im just being overly-eomotional or super-vulnerable person.. i admit it.. but tell you, friend. it was also because i treat you as a real friend, i thought i see the inner you, that it hurts more from your criticisms and actions than i receive from complete strangers..

wad am i supposed to do now?

tell me! wad is so paiseh abt that??
why is it that i dun dare to..
ARGHS..
it's gone isnt it?
why cant i just face directly?
cant talk ah?
cant be like last time ah?
why am i so stubborn??
brrz..
will i ever speak to again?
sian

btw i got the name of my PRC buddy.
her name is 李逢时
nice name right?
im going to meet her this saturday!
and next week, she ll be joining all my lectures and tutorials loh.
hohoho. cant wait to see her!
im gg to make another friend from china!

difficult to give up.. empty promises.

take one step at a time. >_< my mom just bought my favourite roast duck for dinner.. and i couldnt resist it.. i feel like im a failure.. sobs.. how to eat only veggies at home when half the family members are meat-eaters? !!! have to try loh. try to give up meat slowly ba.. meat as in chicken, pork, etc. animals i mean. hais.. but for now, i dun think i wan to eliminate yong tau fu ahs.. hmmms..

had a long day with 2 and a half hour break. supposed to be self study periods, but end up cant concentrate in the library environment.. besides i dunno wad to study.. so wasted my time again.. hai. but it was funny talking to elwin and shiyong there hahaha.. cant stand.. elwin = 南学长. and shiyong = 央央. o-m-g-s.

anws. i think i over high these few days le.. i even began crapping with class dino - ethel. trying to see who is more lame before physics tutorial. loLs.. dunno why.. mayb its the new timetable.. i dun think its as taxing as last time.. and i cant help liking to laugh XD trying to keep myself optimistic. smile smile. dun care what ll happen later.

visit to the doc..

arghs.. finally went to see a doctor..
because the pain was just so UNBEARABLE!
especially after i met stella and elwin at queensway..
sobs sobs..
poor me..
i mean the pain!!
the female doctor was rather fierce, and my mom agreed also. XD
tsk tsk.. i wonder.
at least she gave me some painkillers to ease the pain.
that i must be thankful. heehee..
but heard its gg to hurt my stomach.. brrzz..
i had this weird feeling in my stomach now.
am i gg to throw up the dinner i just ate? omgs..

i didnt see any nice shoes there, that were within my budget.
40 bucks generously sponsored by my DAD.
neither did i see any nice bags ah.
i wish i can bring that kind of bag to school..
not that i dun like my present bag. its just bit small.
honestly speaking, i felt really bad that the bag that joan and pohwun gave me as birthday present passed away so quickly.. really sorry! but i really like that bag alot!
yups.

so im searching for a nice big bag and pair of shoes. preferably before school reopens.

thurs nightmare

omgs.. i really wish time will turn back.. i miss the times when i was healthy..
sobs..

medicine is... bitter

finally its wed! which meant the last day for me to go holiday lessons!
hooray!
been slacking for the past few days.. not that my passion for learning has died or wad.. just that i hurt myself, and got myself into painful situation that i became a cold and immobile statue in front of the junk box; this refers to the television.. :S

my blisters on my elbow are not healing up as fast as i thought they would be.. and brrx.. wonder if the "liquid" ll harden if say i dont care abt them for an hour.. that s so frustrating.. so sians.. while waiting for the upload meter to finishing its percentage. i shall think of how to draft my SGC.. heard i have to hand in this friday.. done many minor roles ahs.. how to write.. so annoying!!! should i include OFCs? R&E also yet to take place. brrz.. imsosians.

now my foot has grown numb.. because of my brother, i changed to use laptop! eeey! and because im using my laptop on my coffee table. im folding my legs. grrz! only 60%!! omg.. i should crap abit more. today had consultation with mrs sim again. turned out that i had more courage with a group of people than by myself.. >_< at least i wont say the wrong thing again.. other than she is a teacher who cares abt her students' results, and a super busy HOD, she is fierce as well, and will do a lot of nasty stuff to make you motivated to study, etc. wells. i can only say im impressed by her, and glad that she is my econs tutor..

hoohoo.. tml gg queensway with stella. only the two of us. hmmms, wonder if some funny things ll happen not. LOLS.

OK.GO - here it goes again

an amazing music video. muz watch. four big men dancing on treadmills to film mv. LOLs.
the effect was just wonderful!!

sunday is the best..

i love holidays!
its supposed to be a time to heal my "spiritual being"
for staying back almost everyday last week. that i lack of sleep so badly..
yet i've tons of homework to do..
to top it,
they are all due tomorrow..

why are SR teachers so ......
haix.. its for our own good.
nevetheless.
demeter won the 2nd orientation.
even thou i had no more strings attached.
i still feel happy for the current OFCs, when vanessa announced the winning family.
congrats, gayne!
i can only say OFCs and OGLs of demeter are a hardworking bunch of ppl.

MUZ-DO LIST :(
- GP essay on terrorism
- GP comprehension (which is superb hard!)
- Econs tutorial... (dreaded subject:X)
- Chem Assignment (left only the last questions:))

my only comfort? bought a teeshirt from pure milk yesterday. HOHOHO! with peiwen, jiaqing and wenhui. shopping rox! i found out that its a way of dismissing stress. ^^

trend

i dun like my brother.. geeks..
everyone is beginning to mug nowadays.
ever since the release of alevel results..
its typical i guess..
jiayou everyone!

orientation tml.. 1000 over freshmen..
seniors, bring lunchbox tml.. >_<

boo

wad a lousy monday.. :(

i so like you! sleepy pig.

that is my latest MSN nick.. i was too uncreative to think of a more unique one.. -__- today was most horrifying one.. the release of a'lvl results. by the end of GP lesson, i went lunatic and began rattling non-stop, disturbing the other three. they were so innocent.. doing their inflation summary, and yet have to endure my nonsense.. and my college had only 30 ppl among the whole cohort scoring 3As and above. wonder if i ever could make that kind of achievement.. bit scary.. went to poke around inside the hall, eavesdropping how much ppl got for their A's. overheard one got 3Es, and was swearing on his way out. new principal and teachers have emphasise on 3Bs to get into a local uni.. wells..

at 330pm, proceed to lt5 for p's address.. only 83 got an A for h1 chinese.. honestly, tell you the truth.. i was frightened like mad at that point of time.. somehow, a grade C keeps appearing before me.. and i was so certain that i would get that grade.. until mr ng smack that piece of result slip on my table. without uttering anything.. and i got A for chinese. OMG..

my dad v.s. mr yong.. i kept quiet throughout.. even though i knew he wanted me to say sth, but wad can i say? my dad and his great philosopy of learning again. tsk tsk.. at least mr yong helped convince my dad to subscribe strait times. YEA! i think i beta set my a'lvl targets now. den i can constantly remind myself. my aim is to enter local uni!

FIVE chickens

it was a joke made by my classmates. or rather, it was a fact. anws, im here to drop a wishing note.

ALL THE BEST TO ALL TAKING BACK ALVL CHINESE TML!
HOPE I DUN HAVE TO RETAKE.
AND NOBODY ELSE AS THEY GOT WAD THEY WANT.
AN A!

anws.. i got clearance from my dad to retake the subject if i get a B.. STILL I PRAY I GET AN A!!! AHHS! parents night tml.. dad's coming.. and he's not reprimanding me for my poor results.. oh dad, im gg to strive for better results next term. which i know i could do it, except for econs and chem la. :S mom is gg overseas.. bon voyage, enjoy yourself. finally you have a break on your own, after like eighteen years of marriage? ooo.. im so gg to miss my MOM! sobsobs.

世上只有妈妈好. :'(